We are delighted to announce that applications are now open. We are accepting applications from applicants as we write these very words.
You need exactly 37 points for automatic qualification to the piece of string race. Anyone with less points will have a ticket for each point placed in a hat for a random draw. Anyone with more points will have their tickets placed in a beret which will then be fed to racoons.
If your name is drawn twice you must run it twice.
If your name is drawn three times.... Actually best you don't know.
Please quill your answers on parchment and post them to Centurion Running, Unit 5, Beech Hyde Farm, St. Albans, Hertfordshire, AL4 8EN, UNITED KINGDOM, along with a stamped addressed envelope (or homing pigeon with at least 6 months supply of food).
1 - How many ultra marathons have you completed during the qualifying period (Nov 2019 - Dec 2021) 1 point for each
2 - How many arm warmers do you own? - 0 points for each
3 - Does your twitter name have "ultra" in it anywhere? 0 points if it does
4 - What is your "ultra stripper name"? (Name of your favourite flavour GU gel and then last word on the model of shoes you are wearing. Stick "barefoot" at the front if you've ever eaten an avocado). 1 point per retweet.
5 - You head outside for a run. There is a breeze of 6 mph and the temperature is 10C. You cover 10.7 miles in 93 minutes which involved 27 meters of mud. Please name this run on Strava (1 point per kudos)
6 - list the previous ultra marathon lotteries you've been unsuccessful in alongside the reasons why they hated you
8 - what is the biggest animal that has ever bitten you in the backside while you tried to crap on their house? 1 point per place on the food chain. If you've never been bitten by anything perhaps you are making a mistake with this entry.
9 - Would you be interested in signing up for "Piece of String Recce Weekends"? We will guarantee to cover at least 3 miles of trail not be used in the actual race, giving you an opportunity to narrow down the possible sets of routes the race might actually take place on. £500 per person, rotten outdoor mattress and food provided. 0 points if you ask if anything is gluten-free.
10 - How many points do you think you have so far? Take that number, times 2, divide by the points you have again. If your answer is 2 then you really don't understand the moving nature of this points system.
11 - How long is a piece of string? (1 point for correct answer, lose all previous points for incorrect answer)
12 - did you notice that question 7 was missing? If yes then seriously, what the hell are you still doing here? You don't belong here.
13 - Having stumbled upon the fact that entries are now open, have you shared this on social media? (-1 points per like)
14 - What is your name - Zero points
15 - What is your email address - 1-37 points
Once you have sent this in, you are welcome to spend the next few months grinning maniacally at your postman.